One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
