Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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