I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
