Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
