I cannot find my penis.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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