I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
