I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
