how do flat chested girls get laid?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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