Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
