Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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