My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
