Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How external is "for external use only"?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize