is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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