angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I am available for nakedness
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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