it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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