Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it's like heaven, but drunker
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
