At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
