I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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