We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i dont even know how to be here
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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