His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
