beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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