I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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