found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
