Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
