In America we eat man semen.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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