i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
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