and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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