your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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