if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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