How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize