I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
