He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
