note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Randomize
