dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
