I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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