i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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