i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
