chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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