woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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