my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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