she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
