We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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