white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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