haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize