Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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