But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
