have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I have aggressive nipples.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
