I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
no, he came in my armpit
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
