It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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