I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I thought he was hot. You know, in a āIāve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood godā sort of way.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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