I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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