OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
3pm strippers are depressing
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
