On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
