i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
