I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize