She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize