Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
