Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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