Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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